Decisions
by Bronzedamazon
Summary: Shepard reflects on her reasoning in choosing Thane over Garrus, and does a little soul searching in the process.
1. I need to go

I remember making the choice to be here with him. I knew that his days were numbered but I was willing to stay beside him knowing that whatever relationship we would have wouldn't outlast this war. Maybe that was part of it, part of the draw that made me choose to be with him. I wasn't sure if I would outlive this war, and not having to promise him that I would made it that much easier.

I listened to him breathing, the long labored breaths telling me that he was not getting the oxygen he needed. I suddenly began to feel like I was suffocating, I needed to go.

"Siha… You are awake?" His voice was raspy and deep indicating that I had woken him unexpectedly.

"Thane… I'm sorry I just…" I mumbled under my breath. I placed my feet on the cold floor and shuddered at the sudden chill. I looked in his eyes that were fixed on me, taking every detail of this moment in. I could feel all the emotions welling beneath the surface of my exterior and swallowed hard to keep them from showing.

"Shepard, is there something that you need to tell me?" I looked at my feet and back at him. I couldn't tell him that there was a possibility that I chose him because he was the safer choice.

"No, I just need to get out of this cabin for a bit. I think I might go to the shooting range when we dock at the citadel." I shrugged my shoulders, feeling them stretch and the soreness flow through them.

"Shall I accompany you? I am more than happy to help you with your… target practice." I watched as he pulled himself from my bed, placing his feet on the floor and letting the thin white sheet fall off his skin. He was still exposed from our escapades that occurred the night before.

"No, I think you should spend some time with Kolyat. You have wounds there that still need to be mended." I could not make myself turn and look at him. I didn't know what I would say seeing him there, in all his glory.

"Very well Siha, I shall be thinking of you. I will make contact with Kolyat as soon as we dock." I could feel the tension in his voice and wanted to reach over to him. Thane stood and began to fasten his jacket.

"Maybe afterwards you and I can spend a little more time together. I know that the Zakera Café has the best food on the citadel." I looked at him and smirked, hoping that the idea of more time would settle the eerie quiet in the room.

"That would do nicely Siha." I watched his lips hide a faint smile and instantly felt better about needing some time away. He walked over to me and placed his hand under my chin, lifting my face to look into his eyes. I raised to my feet, smiled and pressed myself against him as our lips met.


	2. Calibrations

I watched the thermal clip pop out of the chamber of the Locust and hit the ground. I had nailed the target with exceptional ease; all my years of N7 training were evident in every move I made. I reached for another thermal clip only to realize I was not in the room alone.

"Shepard, if you don't calibrate these things you know that your accuracy will suffer." I just stared at Garrus as he nudged the empty clip on the floor with his foot.

"Garrus… I…" I was caught off-guard and was not prepared to see anyone, let alone the man I just turned away for Thane. "I need to be able to compensate for poor accuracy in the field. The reapers are not going to sit there and wait while I calibrate."

"Hmm… I see your point. I know that if the situation was reversed I wouldn't be sitting idly by waiting for someone to calibrate anything." I was sure he was not insinuating that I was calibrating things with Thane and expecting him to just sit on the sidelines waiting.

"Garrus, you don't think…"

"Don't insult me Shepard. I know you too well to just accept that turning me away was to save a friendship. Great Commander Shepard, scared to lose a friend on the chance it could be something more? Something about that doesn't seem quite like you." Garrus took a step towards me. I holstered the Locust and turned to face him.

"I don't know what is running through your head, but we don't need some awkward love triangle going on here. I had to make a decision and I did." I watched him take another step, inching closer to me. I crossed my arms and cocked my head to look at him. This turian, this friend of mine, has lost his mind.

"Since when is there something wrong with a little friendly competition?" I traced his face with my eyes, my best friend, one of the only people in the galaxy that I could trust with my life, and I turned him down. I felt a pang of guilt slide through me, I had chosen to spend my time with Thane. Garrus suffered because of that choice, he wanted something to give him a reason for living, to give him a reason to fight, and I couldn't do that for him.

"Alright Garrus, you think you are the better man for the job, prove it." I pulled out the Locust that I had just holstered and handed it to him. "Hit the target. There is no time for calibrating, no time for adjustments, just here and now." This is why I had chosen Thane, I wouldn't be needed in some emotional way that I couldn't be there. I had to get my point across to Garrus, this war was sure to claim my life and I would be damned if I was going to let it affect him.

I looked in his steely blue eyes, I smirked as he looked back at me, then the Locust. I watched his talons grip the trigger, and then release. It was like watching life in slow motion as the gun slipped from him and his arms were around me. I couldn't stop what was happening, and didn't want to. He brought his face to mine and I closed my eyes.


	3. Intricate

The entire point of my trip to the shooting range was to figure out where I stood on my relationship with Thane, and now a whole new element was added into it. I was so thankful that I did not possess drell solipsism, I didn't think I would be able to face Thane reliving the memories of the rendezvous I just had with Garrus. I could still feel my heart racing and where his arms were wrapped around my waist. While I didn't want the moment to end, I knew that I needed to meet with Thane at the café.

I approached the entrance of Zakera Café and began to look for Thane in the dimly lit areas against the back wall. Not seeing him in the immediate area, I took a deep breath and realized that I would still have a few moments to collect myself before being in his presence. The thought of being so close to Thane brought back that overwhelming feeling of being needed by someone whose days were numbered the same as mine, and the guilt of the moment that had just been stolen by Garrus.

Everything felt so right when I was in my cabin with Thane, not at all how I had pictured the moment from the information that Mordin had provided me. It was freeing seeing someone who had such a cool exterior let his walls down enough to let someone so unfamiliar in. He had told me so much about his life with Irika and Kolyat, told me so much about going through life on autopilot and turning off his emotional self. I never spoke about my personal life with Thane, and let my body tell him what I was feeling for him.

"Siha? Are you lost in a memory?" Thane had walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder startling me from deep thought. "My apologies for keeping you waiting, my conversation with Kolyat was more intense than I initially foresaw." He let a quiet smile come across his lips as he reached for my hand. I paid attention to way he intertwined his fingers with mine, something that ordinarily would seem so simple felt so intricate with him.

Feeling this intimate with him was going to cause me to lose the grip I had on my feelings. I could sense everything inside me wanting to come forth, wanting to spew all the deep pitted emotions that I had perfected in swallowing. I wrapped both arms around Thane and peered into his dark eyes. I wanted to confess what I was feeling for Garrus and tell him that I didn't know what I was doing, but I was so fearful that I would lose someone that meant so much to me. I had already fought so hard to keep from losing anyone when we battled the collectors, I wasn't trying to push someone away not knowing how much time the galaxy or I had left.

"I was thinking, what if we take a trip to Omega? I know it's not the classiest of locations but Aria owes me, and I feel like calling in a favor." I had to do something to take my mind off this ensuing love triangle. If I was alone with Thane, I was going to confess the feelings I had for Garrus and I wasn't sure of the direction that conversation needed to take yet. Omega was perfect; there was always a high crime rate and a mission worth accomplishing. Aria did owe me a night out in the V.I.P. since fixing her little problem with the Ardakt Yakshi and the plague. It was the perfect place to take my mind off things since the shooting range idea had failed so miserably.

"As you wish Siha. I shall accompany you to Omega. But first I feel that I must speak with you about certain issues."

"Thane, you know that I have so much going on. We just beat the collectors, I have the alliance asking me to come in for questioning, and…" _I really don't want to do this here and now._

"Garrus." Thane saying his name cut me in a way that I was not prepared for. _Did he know about the incident at the shooting range?_

"I know that Garrus has a tendency to shoot off his mouth but you just need to blow him off. He's nothing to worry about."

"His mouth alone is not what concerns me. What he does with it on the other hand…"

"Thane, I..."

"No need to explain, Garrus has made it quite clear that he has an emotional connection with you and he intends to explore the potential for a relationship."

"I have an emotional connection with Garrus, yes. He is the closest thing I have had to a friend in a long time and he has never questioned why I think, feel, or react the way I do." I needed to go. I shifted my weight from my right foot to my left and pulled my hand from his. I needed some simplicity in my life, and this was far from it.

"Siha, let's return to the Normandy. Your skin is becoming flushed and bystanders are beginning to take notice of our discussion. I do not wish to cause you discomfort. I believe that the three of us may need to have a conversation away from prying eyes."

"Thank you." I began the trek back to the Normandy as Thane followed behind me. I had a limited amount of time before the three of us would be behind closed doors trying to amicably solve a love triangle that I had been trying to avoid in the first place. I turned Garrus down to ensure that things would be simple, and it seems to have only made things more complicated.


	4. Hope

I felt like a prisoner being escorted to her cell block. I refused to look behind me at Thane, there was no telling what emotions would be written on my face as I trudged towards the Normandy. I knew that I was going to have an emotional conversation, and I was not the least bit prepared for it. _Was there potential to stall this from happening?_

I paused as the airlock on the Normandy opened with a mechanical hiss and listened to the thud of my boots as I stepped on board. The ship had taken some heavy damage after the struggle with the collector vessel but the repairs were coming along nicely. The upgrades that my crew had taken time to put into it had spared our lives and kept the ship intact.

Thane stepped on board beside me and gestured for me to continue through the CIC. I gave a halfhearted smile at him and made my way past the crew members that were diligently carrying out their duties. I kept my eyes forward with a secret hope that someone, anyone, would stop me for something that needed my dire attention. I called for the elevator, disappointed that there was to be no such luck for me.

"Hey Commander… I think you need to see this." Joker blared over the ships com system. I tried to conceal my delight that I was going to have to place my personal dilemma on hold for the moment.

"On my way Joker." I took a moment to look at Thane who nodded his head in acceptance that our conversation would have to wait. I tried not to seem like I was running away from him as he got on the elevator and I made my way to the cockpit. The news that Joker was about to give me couldn't compare to the drama I was in the middle of, and I was sure it would be less complicated.

"Commander, Liara sent me a communication that I think you may want to take a look at." Joker passed me a data pad as a subtle smile came over his face. "It looks like your trip to Omega may have to wait." _My trip to Omega?_

"And _how _do you know that I was planning a trip to Omega?"

"Well Shepard, you might want to disable your com when you are having conversations that you don't want me to know about. It's not my business or anything, but I figured that you needed this distraction after the whole Garrus and Thane mess."

"Thanks Joker… I think." I stifled my irritation as I opened the message on the data pad. A colony in the Terminis System was being forced to pay protection money to the Blue Suns. When the colonists had refused to pay them they had allowed the Vorcha to cause a multitude of casualties. This was right up my alley, dirty mercs that needed to be dealt with and a way for me to let off some steam.

"So Commander, are we on our way?" Joker smiled as I looked over the information.

"Absolutely, set a course for the colony." Now all I had to do was avoid Thane and Garrus until we arrived and I could take out my frustrations on some Blue Suns. In my mind the only safe place would be in my cabin with the door locked. Getting out of sight and alone with my thoughts would be the next best thing until then.

I made, by what all accounts would be considered a mad dash for the elevator. I pressed the call button and waited, arms crossed, staring impatiently as the mechanisms in the door purred. The panels then split revealing Garrus who was standing in the corner of the elevator, back against the wall with his head cocked to the side.

"Shepard, need me for something?" His mandibles twitched indicating he was smirking at me in jest.

"Garrus, I was just heading to my cabin to get ready for a mission that just came up." I stepped in and immediately felt the walls closing in around me. "Getting off?" I questioned while holding the door open, praying that he needed to see Mordin, Jacob, Kelly… anyone that was on the CIC.

"As a matter of fact, I was working on that earlier today but…" He didn't have to finish that sentence; I knew exactly what had happened. The memory of Garrus's mouth pressed against mine, his tongue massaging my tongue, his talons in my hair and his body pressed against me filled me with the same passion I had felt earlier that day. I could feel myself being pulled towards him and let the elevator door close.

"I… I decided on Thane. Garrus please understand that I care for you deeply but I don't know…" I could feel the tension growing and forced myself back against the cool metal wall. My heart started to race and my body yearned for more of the action that had started all those hours ago. I wanted to reach out to him, caress the side of his face and give him an indication that I would be there for him.

"Shepard, I recall something about my reach… and your flexibility?" He took a step closer to me and I could see fire in his eyes. He needed me and my body needed him. I lifted my hand to his face, I wanted to feel his skin underneath my own. I wanted to tell him that I would make it through the ensuing reaper war and we could have happily ever after together.

"Garrus, I can't be the reason you fight." I tried to keeping the feelings of passion at bay as he placed his hand on the wall behind me. There was nowhere I could escape to, I was pinned. "I cannot be the reason that you choose this battle, I may not make it to tomorrow. I can't promise you anything. Thane…"

"Has a limited amount of time. I know that, and I know your reasoning in choosing him Shepard. I am not about to let you walk away from something that could give you hope of a normal life. You need hope, without that we have nothing."

I kissed him, hard and deep. I felt his arms wrapping around me and let myself be pulled to him. I admitted it hadn't I? I picked being with Thane because there was not a promise that had to be made to come back safe, to survive. Garrus had hope that I would accomplish my mission and start a life with him, and that in turn made me think that maybe, just maybe there was a way to survive this.

**I know that there is a lot with Garrus in here, there is more Thane to come!**


	5. Confession

Like a hormonal teenager I began to tear at my clothes, these damn clothes and his armor were in my way and I needed relief. Passion had taken control of me, and I was determined to claim this turian for my own. We hit floor of my cabin and with his talons wrapped around my fingers I pressed for the door to open. I didn't have to force him to come in, at this point we both had one thing on our minds and we were determined to make this moment count.

I sauntered over to my bed, and then it hit me. The overwhelming rush of excitement left as I stared at where Thane and I had spent so many nights together. Everything about this situation was wrong, being in the middle of these two magnificent men that placed so much faith and trust in me…and I had contorted it into this? No, I couldn't bring myself to go any further.

"I… I need to be alone Garrus." I bent down and picked up the sheet that was still lying on the floor. This wasn't who I was. I always thought I was an honorable person, not someone who was manipulative and callus. Now I had made a bigger mess out of something so pure, I couldn't even love someone the right way.

"Hmm… from the way things were going I could have sworn you didn't want to be alone."

"I am not an emotional person. I do not let my feelings get in the way of the decisions I make and with you, it's like I can't stop them."

"So why did you turn me down? I gave you a chance, I told you to find something closer to home, and it wouldn't have surprised me if you would have looked elsewhere at that point."

"Like I said, I just need to be alone right now." _Please leave it at that._

"Didn't you say something about getting ready for a mission? I suddenly have the urge to kill something." He was staring at the huge fish tank that adorned the wall beside him. "You know where to find me when you are ready to head out, until then I believe I have some calibrations to attend to."

Nothing else was said has he walked out the door. I was alone with my thoughts and empty bed, no lover to keep me company. Isn't this what I wanted in the first place? Simple? Quiet? Not promising to be something to someone knowing I couldn't be their reason for existence?

I hated being so wreck less, so careless. As Commander of the Normandy I always calculated the risks of my decisions carefully, and as a female I just plain sucked at it. I had told myself that I would not survive this war, Thane had months left, and I was so sure that I only had months left too. I couldn't guarantee that I would come back to Garrus after everything, and I knew that he couldn't lose another friend; he didn't have many left to lose.

Thane was so easy to relate to, closing himself off for years at a time, distancing himself from the people that he cared so deeply about. His body had gone through so many years in life while his mind laid dormant, waiting to be awakened again by someone, and he had found that in me. All those times in life support I had listened to him tell the stories of his life, and something had awakened in me as he spoke, his emotions were almost foreign to him as mine were to me. I loved him, didn't I?

"Thane, can you please come see me in my cabin. There is a conversation that we need to finish."

"I'll be there in a moment Siha." I sat on the bed looking at the place where Thane had spent so many nights holding me. There were so many good nights in this room, so much love that had been shared. I had to tell him what I had been feeling; I could not keep this from him anymore.

"I'm glad that you came so quickly," I said as the door opened "I think I am ready to get down to the heart of the matter at hand." Thane approached with no discernible emotion on his face. Usually I could tell what he was contemplating to a degree, but not this time.

"You have something that you wish to discuss?"

"You have shared so much with me, let so many boundaries down. It's my turn to do the same. Once I told you that I didn't think that we could call what we were feeling love, but I really think it's come to the point that we need to define what we have." I could feel myself grimace as I actually admitted what I had been feeling out loud.

"You wish to define the parameters of what we have together? I am ready to listen."

"I am going to die. I am going to fight this war with everything that I have until it kills me or we win. I am not afraid of dying again, I am afraid of what I will leave behind. Garrus needs someone that can come back from this battle, and you do not."

"Hmm. You so feel that I am an easier choice to make given the foreseeable future? I understand. You knew from the beginning that my time would be limited yet you pursued this relationship willingly. I find this situation to be…interesting."

"That's all I get from you? Interesting?"

"I did not enter into what we had lightly Siha, and this has caused me to question some of the more recent decisions I have made in my life." Immediately I could tell that I was not the only one that I had been keeping things hidden.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I have been speaking with many of my contacts on the Hanar home world but, I feel that this is not the time for that discussion."

"Okay, so tell me where you stand on us? Just tell me if there is hope or not!" I couldn't keep the tears from welling up in my eyes. It burned as I tried to fight them, my feelings could no longer be shackled, and I was willing to let him see what I had been hiding. "I am in love with you Thane Krios and I am in love with Garrus Vakarian." There was that admission that I had been searching for. I got it out and crumpled on the bed.


	6. Barriers

Thane did not just sit there idly as I began to cry into the sheets. He placed his hand on my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. His touch just made my heart ache more and the tears that were falling from my eyes flow more freely. I waited for him to pull away from me, to tell me that this was not okay and I was not the person who he thought I was.

"Siha, why are you so upset about this situation? Have I not told you that I believe that you can love more than one in a lifetime?"

"But you weren't in love with two people at the same time."

"Can you say that? I have perfect memory of everything I have done in this lifetime with Irika. I have told you that when a memory feels as real as life it as valid as life. Just because Irika's body is no longer on this plane of existence does not diminish the love I feel for her."

"What are you trying to tell me? That this whole situation is okay?"

"Okay may not be the best description but let's say that I do have an understanding for what you are feeling. You care for Garrus and it is evident in his actions that he reciprocates those feelings."

I peered up from the soggy bed sheet in disbelief, how could he be so understanding? Garrus and I felt something for one another, but it seemed to me that it was a carnal instinct to rip each other's clothes off. With Thane my feelings were of another persuasion, so tender and caring. How could I love two people in such different ways?

"I just can't stop myself around him Thane. It's like part of me needs to be with him, I feel restless when he isn't around." Thane moves his hand from my thigh and places his hands together like he is meditating. I sit up and look at him, he's so calm and level headed. The admission of everything has not caused a single stir of emotion within him.

"I touch her face, lift it to mine. Her lips are pink, warm and soft as they press against my own. I give into her, letting go of the barriers that I have put up to keep so many out. I feel my head begin to spin, thoughts of Irika slowly creep into my conscience." I watch as Thane comes out of his memory and back to me.

"Thane I…"

"Think nothing of it Siha. I love you as you do me, but Irika will also always share my love. You should try to have a conversation with Garrus about these feelings that you are having. I will not stand in your way as you decide what needs to be done."

I reach for him, he does not pull away but finds a way to lay himself on top of me. I smile as I feel him against me. His eyes close. I pick my head up from the pillow and press my lips against him. I feel him push back against my kiss, his tongue searching for a chance to feel mine. My arms are wrapped around his neck pulling him closer, trying to smother any possible space between us. I find where his jacket is fastened, and from all the practice I am able to undo the buckles with ease. I watch him get on his knees as he drops the jacket to the floor.

"Siha, be one with me again. Let me show you what it means to have no barriers."

"Commander, we just arrived at the colony. The shuttle is waiting for you." Joker's voice interrupts the peaceful sleep that I had found in Thane's arms. Sitting up in the bed I smile, killing Blue Suns sounds like a hell of a time after everything that just happened.

"I'll be ready in twenty Joker." That gives me time for a five minute shower and fifteen minutes to arm up. I glance at my bed for Thane expecting to see him asleep, but he's already motioning towards the door.

"Siha, you did not tell me that we had a mission. Shall we go?"

"I have to shower. Give me about eighteen minutes and meet me at the shuttle." _Wait, what did I just say? _Before I had even thought about it I had invited Thane on the same mission that Garrus was going to use to blow off steam. I tried to speak, to tell Thane that it may not be the best idea to come along on this one, but the door closed and I was left to contemplate what I had just done.

I made my way down to the elevator, fastening buckles as the small metal box closed its door around me. I hoped that my weapon stash was still untouched so that I wouldn't have to make a trip back upstairs to the armory._ What genius put the armory so far from the shuttle bay? _This was going to be a hell of a ride; I knew that inviting these two men on the same mission was going to cause issues. I checked the coordinates on my omni-tool as the elevator drudgingly moved toward the shuttle bay. The mission was simple enough, kill the bad guys and save the colonists, hopefully that was all there would be to it.

When the door opened I was pleased to see that there was no blood shed yet. Garrus was checking the scope on his favorite sniper rifle and Thane appeared to be praying to Amonkira. _Maybe I would be able to get through this without these two killing each other in the process._ I headed to the shuttle and both Garrus and Thane followed behind me. We loaded onto the shuttle, Thane and Garrus on one side and me on the other.

"Well Shepard, I hope that those calibrations earlier this afternoon prepared you for this." Garrus's mandibles twitched with a hint of a smirk. _Me too Garrus, me too._


	7. Dead Center

I was waiting, waiting for one of them to say something to the other while we sat there together. They both just stared at me as I met their eyes one at a time. I started to fidget with my armor when I noticed that I had missed fastening a critical piece on the right arm.

"Not like you to miss something like that. Feeling distracted recently?" Garrus had a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"I only had a few minutes to get ready this time. Usually I am a little more prepared for something like this." The piece wouldn't close, the bumpy shuttle ride wasn't helping me get it done one handed either.

"It might be easier to just wait till we land Shep." Steely blue eyes met mine and I could feel my skin start to flush. His eyes had a hunger in them, a hunger that they needed me to feed.

"I guess you're right Gar. Thane, when we land would you mind?"

"Not at all Siha." Thane's lips pursed as a small smile crept across them and Garrus humphed as he dropped eye contact with me.

"So about the mission, we are landing outside the Blue Suns base, expect there to be some hostility. They have caused the vorcha to attack the colony and want protection money to keep them safe. We are going to purge the Suns and then head for the vorcha."

They both nodded their heads in understanding as the shuttle touched down. Thane kneeled in front of me as he fixed the armor on my right arm while giving me a knowing smile. Garrus opened the shuttle door and we quickly followed behind him.

Exterminating the Blue Suns was exhilarating. I watched as they dropped in front of me, one at a time, until there was no longer any mercs left on the base. I had to admit that I was mesmerized watching Garrus and Thane both work.

"Alright, let's look for anything that we can use on this base before we take care of the vorcha." I headed over to one of the bases rooms that we had methodically cleared. A dead batarian Sun was in the middle of the doorway, he had taken a bullet dead center.

"Clean kill." Mumbled Garrus as he stepped over the body.

"Hard to tell which one of you took him out. You're both amazing shots."

"I always aim for the head Shep, I don't do dead center."

"Garrus I was giving a compliment to the both of you. Just take it."

"Is that really what you want?" He shot me a look to read between the lines.

"That's enough." I was tired of going back and forth with him. I finally reached a moment of clarity and he was pushing my buttons. "I am not in the mood for games anymore, this is not the time or place. You want to talk about it, fine. But it isn't going to happen here or now." He slung his weapon over his shoulder.

"Understood Commander. Soon as we are back on board the Normandy…." He didn't have a chance to finish.

"Agreed." I wasn't going to do this with him anymore. My confusion about the situation had tormented me for long enough. "Let's move it."

Events that had happened today had caused my patience with things to run thin and I loathed the fact that the vorcha could heal so quickly. It made killing them so tedious and time consuming. Eliminating them should have taken no time at all, but they were bunkered down in a location that made their extermination all the more difficult.

We stopped by the colony to inform them that they had the all clear. There were many thank you's and we appreciate you's… I wasn't in the mood for it. I was so upset with Garrus for bringing things up during the mission that it was blinding me to what was going on. I could only think about getting back on the Normandy and giving him a piece of my mind.

We clambered onto the shuttle, I sat beside Garrus so I didn't have to look at the turian bastard. I am not one to get so angry that it consumes me, but I was tired of having him push my buttons. This was over. I looked at Thane and then closed my eyes. I now understood what he was trying to tell me before this mission. Everything that I couldn't get passed over the past few days fell to the sides revealing the underlying nature of it all.

The shuttle docked and I was the first one off. This was all going to happen quickly. I dropped my weapons and starting to peel off armor. I could feel the eyes of my crew on me as my N7 chestplate hit the ground. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder.

"Siha, you should let cooler heads prevail." I knew Thane was right. I knew that I should hurry to my cabin, take a shower and give myself time to cool down. I just had to stomach the idea of waiting.

"Garrus, Thane… You both have twenty minutes to meet me in my cabin. We have something that we need to discuss." I never turned to look at them; I pushed the button for the elevator leaving them there behind me.

I stepped into the shower letting the cool water rinse away the dirt and grime from the firefight. I had locked the door to keep them outside until I was ready to deal with them. My entire career I was faced with decisions and consequences. I always seemed to end up with an option whether to make an illustrious good decision and a brash rebellious one. No matter what I had picked someone got hurt, someone ended up having to make a concession. _Not me, not this time._

I barely dried the water off my skin before I threw on sweats and a N7 shirt. Thane was right about the cooling off, I wasn't as angry as I had been before I had stepped into the shower but I was still thinking clearly.

"EDI, unlock the door please." Both Garrus and Thane were waiting outside just like I had instructed them to be.

"Gentlemen, if you please?" I bowed my head sarcastically and waved them both to come in. As they both came in so did the tension in the air. I walked over to the table and poured myself a glass of wine before sitting down.

"Siha, I…" I put my hand up getting Thane to be quiet as I put my glass to my lips. I took a sip before deciding to speak.

"Now… Let's make this simple. I am in love with the both of you. I am tired of trying to figure out who to be with or what to do in the midst of it all. But I can say that I have made a decision." I took another sip of my wine.

"Shepard I…" I put my hand up again to silence Garrus.

"No, let me finish. I have made decisions that have caused people to live and die. I have made decisions that had affected almost every race in the galaxy. This time I want you to make a decision. You know I have feelings for the both of you, and I am not going to play games." I looked at them over the edge of my glass. Thane stood expressionless as Garrus folded his arms.

"Is this your wish?" Thane questioned.

"Yes. I am asking that you take on this dilemma. I will be happy either way. I am not naive enough to think that I can have you both." _But the idea doesn't sound too bad does it?_


End file.
